Run The World (FLOPS)

Chile, so the numbers are in, and it looks like Beyonce's smash shit single has BELLYFLOPPED onto charts everywhere. Here are the numbers. FEAST!

Billboard: #33 (HAAA)

Digital DLs: #23 (HAAA HAAA)

Radio: #65 (HAAA HAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAA)

Girl, these are the SOLANGE numbers, hunni! Hell, I farted in an empty toilet paper tube last week and charted higher than THAT!

And speaking of farting into microphones, both Britney and Gaga STORMED the charts with their singles, and this is why her psychotic stans were terrorizing everybody's message boards? For THIS!?

Bitch should have just went somewhere and popped out a few mutant babies, deep conditioned and hot-oil treated those roots of hers, ask Juelz to FINALLY teach her how to talk in complete sentences, conjugate a verb, stop eating paste and color inside the lines with jumbo crayons, chile.

Another Day, Another Beyonce Lawsuit...

No, the planet earth's lawyer didn't file a lawsuit seeking damages due to pain, suffering, excessive diarrhea and hearing-loss after listening to Bey's new smash shit Who RUIN The World (Whores), not yet at least, but they are gettin their paperwork together.

Instead, these court papers reveal a company (who should have known better) named Gate Five is suing the tooth plaque and coochie-crust off of Beyonce's ass to the tune of 100 MILLION SLUT-BUCKS for;

1. Being a GREEDY ASS GREEDY BITCH (duh...)

2. Being a MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE HUMAN BEING (double-duh...)

3. Ruining 70 people's christmas by forcing them out of a job the week before christmas because of reasons 1 and 2 (helmet wearing triple-duuhhhhh).


Here's the TMZ tea

A video game company called Gate Five filed papers today in NY -- in which they claim they had a deal in place in 2010 to create a game with Beyonce called, "Starpower: Beyonce."

According to the docs, things went awry during a "crucial moment in the project's development" when Beyonce made "an extortionate demand" for more money -- even though the two sides already had a deal in place.

Gate Five claims her move "drove 70 people into unemployment, the week before Christmas" ... and notes that one of the project's backers described her conduct as "morally reprehensible."

The company claims it is entitled to the $6.7 mil it invested into the venture -- as well as more than $100 million in profits Gate Five believes it would have earned had Beyonce honored the agreement.

SOURCE

Here is Beyonce's official statement on the matter:


GIFSoup

Thief (Who Ruined The World)

HAMMERCY JESUS! I have been gone far too long!! I have to apologize for my prolonged absence, I have just been so unbelievably busy with amazing things going on, it's been a crying FOOL, but for this very momentous occasion, I come to you swimming through the thickest new growth roots and standing strong on the tallest ass pad known to man to proclaim that after listening to a clip of that SMOLDERING 4-ALARM CHILI BURNT TO A DAM CRISP EXTRA WELL DONE OPEN FLAME BROILED ASS HOT MESSSSSSSSS of Beyonce's new "song", I have to say THAT DAMN TEARS IT WITH THIS LADY! I can't with her, I can't with her delusional ass STANS, I can't with Makael and four motherfuckers that LOOK like him, and I can't with the world at large if you let this crap continue unscathed!

So if you want to hear HER EARTHSHATTERING NEW MUSIC THAT SHE CAME UP WITH ALL ON HER OWN, click the link below to listen to what 20 seconds of pure, concentrated, new born HELL sounds like.



and btw, Major Lazer (ft. Vybz Kartel) did it better...



Tootles, till next time....