Jumping The Shark: Beyonce Admits To STEALING!!

Well, well, well. So much for the stans "It's not Beyonce's fault" campaign. AOL is reporting Beyonce's official statement on the HIGH CRIME AND MISDEMEANOR that was her Billboard Music Award performance. Grab a cup and have your lemon and honey ready, chile.

‘My makeup artist showed me the performance of Lorella Cuccarini a year ago, and it inspired me to steal so much’, she went onto reveal ‘I then met with the talented people who worked on it. The technology and concept were so genius. Thank God for YouTube or I would have never been exposed as a theif to steal something so inspiring. I never worked so hard on stealing anything in my life as that performance for the Billboard Awards’.

Oh, okay so in other words, if you're gonna blame someone, blame the make-up artist! Chile please, all the concealer in the world can't cover up this blemish, chile. Aww poor, original, pioneering little rich girl! CHILE SAVE IT! It's already bad enough the RUN THE WORLD (THIEVES)beat is Major Lazer's 'Pon De Floor" and the choreography was a STEP BY STEP Tofo Tofo routine! Whether two of the guys were in the video or not, bitch stop shittin in the litter box and blaming it on the neighbors cat!

About Beyonce's 5 Finger Discount Billboard Awards Performance...

Yesterday was Sunday, so that must mean for some it's time to violate a couple of the 10 commandments. Mostly THOU SHALT NOT STEAL & THOU SHALT NOT LIE (aka bare false witness). So, Beyonce was given the award for being the most unoriginal scam artist of the MILLENIUM yesterday, and although I didn't watch that bullfart (I had more important things to do like wash my hair, paint my toenails, feed the cat, do crossword puzzles, etc...) I already know (without watching) that it was going to be a show full of dandruff flakes, crotch-rot, delusion, theft, lies & videotape. Maybe I'm psychic, but from what I'm hearing, that's EXACTLY what it was, chile.

Glad I spent my time wisely, because now my hair is bouncy fresh and my toes are really cute! :)

Snatchback: Beyonce does Tina for Bush

The other day a friend (who is now an ex-friend thanks to this foolishness) and I were watching Tina Turner concert footage. We were having a great time.. UNTIL...





One of the links was this clip of Beyonce performing Proud Mary with Tina Turner watching from the audience. In the first place, why is she doing Tina and Tina is in the audience? Tina should be on stage doing her own song and SLAYING IT while Beyonce should be in the balcony sitting next to her Texas boyfriend GEORGE W. BUSH! YESSS HONEY, THATTTT GEORGE W. BUSH!!!

As much death and destruction Bush has unleashed on the planet, Obama should be thoroughly kicked in the dick-bone for letting Beyonce come within 1,000 yards of his inauguration. It's clear to anyone with a functioning set of eyeballs that she has no principles and is an opportunistic skank.

*And a side-note. I live for Tina Turner looking like Tina Knowles younger, flyer sister. Maybe there is something to the rumors... hmmm...

Alejandrho...

What in the...

TrannyMadonnaLikeaPrayerVogueLaislaBonitaRhythmNationHell is THIS??

So, today was the BIG day for Lady Gaga's video for Alejandro. It was also a BIG day for my bottle of HOLY WATER! Between the Butch queens in heels humping like wild coyotes on viagra, to the demon nun from hell, to her thrusting her post-op vagina scars from here to the 5th circle of hell. Aside from that. Yes, she has a strong visual, but I was just confused, honey!

Now, excuse me while I go suck down a bottle of wine, eat a box of communion wafers, fan myself with a Martin Luther King church fan and say a few thousand Hail Mary's!

Desperately Seeking Attention

Today was the medium-sized day for B.B. Home-Schooler and her new video for one of her most passionate humanitarian causes: she asks the pressing global question.. Why Don't You Love Beyonce?

From the Sally Fields school of desperation, for this video, she busted opened that dusty crate she had stored in her attic and brought out some of her old movies she shot back in the 40's. I'm pretty sure Tina was the cameraman.

The chain-smokin', mascara-running', ego-strokin', grammy-dustin', swagger-jackin' clip has all the sizzle of a lit cigarette tossed in the toilet, so it is sure to be a hit with the members of her fancultclub.

I personally would rather watch a cigarette butt floating in the toilet, but hey, to each his own!

I Wanna Talk About Those Bathing Suits...

Soooooo, children. Looks as if little miss shoplifter's luck ran out in Germany. A German judge ruled that the design of one of her bathing suits was jacked like Jay-Z's drivers license photo. It's obvious bitch was once again "inspired by" someone elses hard work, and as a result, a judge ruled the "Video Phone" video be BANNED from further airing in Germany. HAAAA!!!

In what has to be one of the more bizarre copyright disputes, the underwear manufacturer Triumph sued Sony because Beyoncé was wearing copyright infringing underwear in her music video “Video Phone”. Seriously.

The design in question by Bulgarian designer Iskren Lozanov is shown on the right, the music video below (the infringement occurs at about 0.50′). This week, the 7th Civil Chamber of the Landgericht Munich upheld an ex parte injunction barring Sony from distributing the “Video Phone” clip in Germany.

Triumph argued Beyoncé was wearing an unauthorized reproduction of the Iskren Lozanov design. Sony countered that both designs were inspired by Picasso, but otherwise, there were few similarities. The slips, in particular, were wholly different. The judge disagreed: the Lozanov design was highly original and enjoyed a wide scope of protection, and was therefore infringed by the underwear worn by Beyoncé.

Sony’s lawyer announced that, after consultation with Beyoncé, he would most likely appeal the decision.

Hold, the line, I have a call coming in...

Hello Caller, you say what??