Did Camel Get Kicked to the Curb?

In "Chew yo ass up and spit yo ass out" news of the day, it's being reported by a reliable source that Beyonce has put on her panic wig and emergency leotard and recently called an meltdown, code red, meeting about her BIG FLOPPITY FLOP OF A FLOP ASS FLOP single, and she is now trying to sever management ties with Jay Z and Roc Nation. (tee hee)

Maybe it will finally dawn on Jay Z that Beyonce is an opportunist and the only reason why his ugly ass ever got a chance in the first damn place is because it was $omething in it for her. I mean, you dont't really think she will ever fart a baby creature out of her precious womb that looks like you, do you? You poor, misquided, disfigured-looking FOOL! Don't you know that you look like the depths of somebodys ASS? Like somebody has been putting cigarettes out on your face? You didn't know you look like Osama Bin Laden's death photo? Like you jumped off of the Chrysler Building and landed on your face? You didn't know you look like a half-chewed hot-dog floating in a pool of vomit? Wait, I'm getting off topic.. where was I? Oh yea!

So, back to this meeting... I guess, if the "source" is to be believe, the general consensus of listening to the album was;

Kelly PWNS Mathew

Chile... So I was right in the middle of stabbing a Single Ladies Onsie with that voodoo pin Tina let me borrow, when I stumbled across this recent interview of Kelly Rowland by Perez Hilton.





Girl, so cut to Perez asking why Mathew felt the need (to stop doing bumps of powder with Lindsay Lohan long enough) to release a statement on a Destiny's Child reunion. This is where Miss Kelly SERVED Mathew the tea in her own little Kelly way, and I LIVE!

(wait.. so does this mean... there's still a....? oh crap!)

Kelly Rowland's Response to DC Reunion: Chiiiiiile, NO!

Yes, honey... EXACTLY! Pay it none, girl! I know you see right through the hot garbage.

Farrah Franklin On Possible Destiny's Child Reunion

...and possibly on drugs if she thinks for one second that Beyonce' will ever do anything with any DC member ever again! Here's a quote from VIBE

“Right now, I’m kind of hearing about it with everyone else. It hasn’t been presented to me yet. When it does or if it does, I’ll deal with it as that. I’ll have to see if it’s something in real talks or if it’s fake.”

The singer, who last spoke to Beyoncé ten years ago, added: “I’m really a personable person and I would just want everyone to get along. Little Farrah has a lot on her shoulders and all I ask is happiness in return and for it to be fun. There’s so many different personalities and it’s been a long time, so you just don’t know. I would be cool with everyone, I have no problems, but it’s not about just me. There’s five other people.”

I love the hint that Beyonce and Co. are filled with hot steaming bitchiness and cattiness. Farrah chile, I would have just paid it altogether, girl. You'll have better luck forming a singing group with Tina and Angela Beyince. And it's no shade.

Spillin' Tea: LeToya & Michelle Collab?

Yes, honTeas, bask in it! LeToya Luckett tweeted a pic of her and Michelle Williams on stage singing a song while both girls are pouring cryptic brace yourself for a surprise kinda teas chile! Whatever it is, brang it on!! That would be a real gag if all the ex-Destiny's children got together and stormed the "Queens" castle!

I'll have extra butter on that popcorn, please!

MAN DOWN, CODE TEN: Gunfight At Beyonce Concert!

Chiiiile, hammercy. What you are about to read is a HOT MESS! Word around the quinciñera is when Beyonce's concert was over in Salvador, Brazil recently, GUNMEN OPENED FIRE ON HER FANS LEAVING THE VENUE!!!

In related news, has anyone seen Solange?

But seriously honeychildren, true Beyonce stans are a little hard on the nervous system, but ummm... this is a FOOL! Chile, don't shoot the children. I'll just try to get them bitches together! I actually don't know what the motive was since the information is scare as of right now so this story, like Beyonce's breasts, is still developing...

In the meantime my thoughts and prayers go out to the young victims of the sensless act. My thoughts and prayers also go out to the mothers eardrums of kids who are Beyonce stans because they play her so much to the point where you wanna jam a rusty railroad spike down your earhole. That is a sensless act, too.

UPDATE: Several media sources has retracted this story of a gunfight after one of the "I Am" concerts In Brazil. I'm actually glad this story isn't true. But even still, if they just came out of a Beyonce concert, they have already been terrorized enough!