Cops Pull Over Some Old Lady...

So, Miss "I just got my license" Knowles (even though since early Destiny's Child, she'd been driving around in a Jaguar while her bandmate had to hitchike a ride in her mamas old Mazda, but I digress...) was stopped by a cop that had no idea who the hell she was *insert Nelson's HAA-HAAAA laugh here* when he seen a 1,000 pound wig on wheels in heels driving down the street while texting. Here's the tea...

“Beyoncé was really embarrassed because she only recently got her driver’s license. She tried to charm that cop and told him she had no idea that texting while driving was against the law. He had no idea who she was. He just slapped her with the ticket, which was worth more than $100!”

SOURCE



If this is true,






Chile, but if you go to the source link, this happened LAST month? Ummm, so... why... are... they... um... just... now.... um.. chile, nevermind! But,to be on the
safe side....

*stiff, stern side-eye*

Dead Fish Walking

If you were in London and smelled something that reeked of week-old filet of cajun catfish rotting away in the July sun, it was just Beyonce airing out her cooch again. Either that, or it was Beyonce's elegant stripper I'm Gonna Git U Sucka fish shoes dying a miserable death. Well, if I was that poor fish creature, one whiff of Bey's toe-jam from hell, and I would go see about Jesus, too!


Here's unedited footage of Beyonce going shopping...

Tina Must Be Stopped!

Chile.. so I was surfin' MTO when I ran into this lovely pic of Beyonce taking a pic with people her own age. Instead of doing her hair that day, Tina just slapped Bey upside the head with a box of slinkys, and bag of old funyuns, dipped her head in a solution of just for men hair dye and sent her off to Glamour Shots in some mall in Texas looking fabulous! Either that or she was auditioning for a role in B.A.P.S. All bitch is missing is a few sparklers, smoke-bombs and skyrockets stuck in her head, and we can really get this ghetto 4TH OF JULY party started!

Beyonce Workin On New Album

The Dream farted in a recent interview with Singers Room about him working on a new Beyonce album.

I’m working on a reality show, I’m working with this girl name Kasha who’s here today. We’ll probably get her album done within the week. Ciara’s already started on her project. You know, Rihanna, Beyonce, the same beautiful people every year. It’s a cycle. We’ve gotta get that money.

Shhh.. if you listen closely, you can here the sound of 700 millions eyes rolling across the globe.

Here is Salma Hayek's reaction to the news;

'Video Phone' Won WHAT???

Chile, so in BET's last ditch effort to solidify themselves as being ass-backwards, out of touch and irrelavent, they gave the VIDEO OF THE YEAR to BEYONCE'S ABYSMAL VIDEO PHONE VIDEO!!! I guess sunday was opposite day, cuz even her most die-hard fans called that video hot fried garbage!



I mean these bitches don't even pretend to be impartial anymore if that green screen nightmare abomination of a disaster was nominated much less won. BET, your days are numbered!

Snatchback Video: Girls' Tyme on Star Search

So, I was going through youtube being a nosy whore, when I suddenly realized I've never really seen Beyonce and Girls' Tyme on Star Search... UNTIL NOW...




Will someone PLEASE knock me in the ear with a steak knife? I just want to unscrew my ears, put on stilettos, dance the single ladies routine on them and put them on the nearest railroad tracks after hearing this hot hell of a mess! I don't why I keep doing this to myself.

Aside from Beyonce obviously hogging 99% of the mic time, Girls' Tyme didn't lose, BEYONCE DID!! The best part of this mess was the rap section (LaTavia?) and the end when the torture finally stopped and the scores came up, and yes, I think 3 stars was far too generous... just sayin!

This Is Just Too Easy...

I almost don't need to risk scuffing up the paint on my fingernails to type this, but since I guess I'm a glutton for punishment, here goes...



Here is Beyonce looking young, fresh and gorgeous as ever after a night of kicking her liver's ass and taking it's name while attending the 1 year anniversary of Club Avenue.

Aside from looking like she just went 10 rounds in a heavyweight championship fight, and walked away without the championship, have you ever seen such ravaging beauty? Everything from the the tips of her split-end wig to the tips of her camel toes is just striking! I mean, why even bother putting on lipstick? She is just perfect in every conceivable way!

SOURCE

Another Day, Another Camel Suit...

So the latest news flying across the desert is Jay-Z is being SUED by a private plane company for not paying in full. Here's the tea...

18 hours of flight time at $4,500-per-hour (discounted from $6,000-per-hour) ... $81,000
Catering for 17 domestic flights ($500-per-flight) .... $8,500
Catering for 4 international flights ($750-per-flight) ... $3,000
International fees ... $8,500
Taxes ... $12,285
Luxury trip to England ... $24,200

It all adds up to $137,485.00 ... which is why most people just fly coach.

SOURCE


Okay, so instantly a few things come to mind, here.

1. Can't he afford his own plane by now? If John Travolta can afford one, I'm sure Jay-Z can afford one, too.

2. Da fuck wrong with this bitch??

And don't give me this "it was an oversight" crap, either. Why didn't he just give them his Camel Express Card? and I don't want to hear about "my people dropped the ball" bullsh!t. Do you need your people to wipe your ass, too? You know what the hell you're spending and when you're spending it. People have bills to pay, they don't have time to wait until "your people" get their crap together!

Sorry for being in such a funky mood, but this queen just PISSES ME OFF!!

If You Like, Then You Shoulda Put Some Vodka In It...

Today is Sunday. So that means last night Beyonce was drunk off her ass again. Here is Honey Bey Tipsy-Tumbles Sasha Camel-Carter Fierce B.B. Hotmess Knowles grabbing whats left of what used to be the remnants of the ghost of her vagina at her wife Jay-Z's concert while getting pissy drunk next to Julius who looks like he would rather be having a V-8.

The Wolly Mammoth of Texas turned up the heat when she opened her mouth and contributed to the global warming crisis. Infact, Obama should put her on the Oil Spill Commission... All Beyonce has to do is dip her thirsty ass weave of miracles in the Gulf of Mexico, and voila! Crisis solved! She may catch a basket of shrimp in her wig to match the crabs in her husbands ass, and since she already has tartar sauce and butter caked on her teeth, and lemon wedges and garlic spraying out of her crotch, bitch got the hookup!

Click here for more drunk ass pics.

Telephone Child Abuse...

A sad excuse for parents that needs intense therapy made this tired Gaga "Telephone" video of their kid (who obviously would rather be somewhere playing jump-rope than to be involved in this hot garbage). The uninterested and over it kid looks like she being kidnapped and held for ransom to the tune of Gaga. Baby needs a real telephone so she can call The Department of Children & Family Services.