The Baby Boy Is A Single Lady

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Today, a future RuPaul's Drag Race contestant's dreams were crushed and stomped on by his father. The HORROR!

Will somebody please give this child a Pam Grier wig and a leotard already!?

I Knew This Was Coming...

Just in time for Christmas, or Father's Day, or His birthday, or Graduation, or Bar Mitzvah, or his release date from prison... make your man extra happy with his very own BEYONCE SEX DOLL!! She don't need no stinking ring on it! Fulfill his fantasies with one of the sluttiest plastic sluts to ever slut. It's Slutterific!

ACT NOW and we will throw in a FREE box of condoms, a pregnancy kit, a DNA swab, a gonorrhea test and an autographed CD of Solange's new song Under Construction

BUT WAIT.. THERE'S MORE!! If you call in the next five minutes, Beyonce may even come over and let you practice on her FOR FREE! So what are you waiting for? Pick up that phone and CALL 1-900-LACEWIG NOW!

(we accept H.I.Visa or Asstercard)

Chiiiiile...

SOURCE

Beyonce Pregnant With A Baby Camel?

Word around The Zoo Nursery Ward is they should FINALLY be expecting a bouncing baby camel wearing a leotard and a wig with spit ends in about 9 months or so. I don't know whether this story is true or not, considering the source since MTO is known for pullin stories out the crack of their ass, but if it is true, its looking like lil' Nixon will have someone to play camel-back ride with.

I'll have to confirm this with a zoologist at the Sahara Desert before I fully co-sign, but in the meantime, DAAAAMN! How embarassing to have an uncle only few months older than you are. This is some RICKI LAKE SHIT!

Beyonce Article Writer FIRED!

Ok, kids. Just incase you were wondering whether or not The Bionic Lacefront Wonder doesn't love going around getting people fired from their jobs, feast your eyeballs on this tea:

eon Magazine, the publication that made headlines earlier this month with its feature on Beyonce and an alleged pre-marital contract is stepping up by not only firing the writer but, sending an open apology to the star.

In the article, which was published on blogs including theYBF.com earlier this year, a writer is said to have falsified an interview with Beyonce, making it appear as though the singer confirmed that she had Jay-Z under a contract..

"I do not deny that there is a marriage contract. I would encourage any woman getting married to put on such a treaty, it will gain more influence on self-esteem. I believe that in my relationship with Jay-Z, as in any genuine relationship ,not everything is easy. I want children not now, later. He’s entirely not aware of that fact yet. I want to sit around at home, also times in a tracksuit pants. He assumes and believes that women even wear high heels just to go to the bathroom." -- excerpt from NEON.

In a letter released late Thursday, Neon apologizes for the article, stating "We do have serious doubts in the truth of many statements of the interview of Ms. Beyonce Knowles published in NEON, Issue January/2010...The article was written by the freelancer Ingo Mecek. The editors-in-Chief have confronted Ingo Mocek with these doubts. Ingo Mocek was not able to verify certain statements, particularly the statements regarding a marriage contract of Ms. Knowles. There, we assume that the interview did not take place as claimed by Ingo Mocek."

"NEON dissociates itself from the content of the interview with Ms. Knowles. NEON subscribes to a high level standard of truthful journalism. Since Ingo Mocek has violated these standards serverely, NEON has terminated all relationships with Inco Mocek with immediate effect," Neon goes on to state. "We sincerely apologize to Ms. Knowles and her management for all personal inconvenience that may have arisen due to the publication of this interview."

Singersroom opted not to publish excerpts of the interview when it was first released.

Beyonce has not commented on the interview or whether it actually took place

Well, kick me in the coochie with a high-heeled camel hoof! That Bey camp is on another level of shade. What was so scandalous about the article anyway? She's been making these kind of statements all along, and if you don't get a prenup of some sort in this day and age you must have been dropped on your head at birth.. oh wait.. nevermind!

Now, as much crap as they write about every other artist in the history of the industry, don't nobody better never EVER say nothing bad about Beyonce, cuz thats when bitches lose it!! (even though her breath would win grand prize in an ass kickin' contest)



SOURCE

And I Wanna Thank Ya...

When I started this blog a year or so ago, It was just a place for me to collect random crap that made me laugh and spill tea on celebs who should get a stiff stern chiiile PLEASE!! Shortly after I started this blog, I found a blog called Hate On Beyonce, and the girls were READING up in there! I got eternal life, but suddenly and with little to no warning the posts stopped and rumors started spreading that the Knowles clan was up to some voodoo shit.

Then came other sites like Destiny's Child Rumours which became the new gold standard and the go-to blog, but eventually there was some hostile takeover or something, chile (don't get me to lyin) and out of that Destiny's Rehab was born (which, by the way is kicking ass and taking names, honey!) as well as a resurgence over at We All Hate On Beyonce.

My little blog was never intended to target any one particular artist, but damnit letting The Countess of Crotch-Rot Beyonce have it is just SO MUCH FUN!! Me love it long time!

So, in this post, I want to take the time to personally thank all of you for checking out what my goofy ass has to say. So thank you Anonymous, FedUp, Andi K, TruthBeTold, Quianna, Shatara, Creative Krystalk, Girlwithmouth, Krystal D*lyte, Matty Cain, Tabitha, Lyrica, Old School and even Clit Flea any anyone else who has contributed to this blog and kept this dialogue going!

And I wish a bitch WOULD try to shut me down, cuz Honeychildren, I come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum.. and I'm all out of bubble gum!

P.S.: if I forgot to shout you out let me know in the comments and I will edit this post

'Queen" Bey Has 5 4 UK #1's

Chile, so I was bein nosy over at That Grape Juice and came across this post claiming that The Dutchess Of Dumbasses now has 5 #1 singles in the UK (‘Crazy In Love’, ‘Deja Vu’, ‘Beautiful Liar’, ‘If I Were A Boy’, and ‘Telephone’)

Now, I LOOOVE the UK so I hate to have to get the UK children together real quick, honey, but isn't "Telephone" Lady Gaga's song? So IOW the bitch has a grand total of a whopping FOUR #1 songs in the UK! See how fierce she is? Chiiile, PLEASE!! Bitch is full of refer smoke and mirrors her daddy Matty uses to snort crack off of.

Didn't she release damn near the whole "I Am..." as singles? Where's Diva? Where's Single Ladies? Where's Halo? Where's Ego? Where's Sweet Dreams? Where's Ave Maria? Where's Video Phone? Why isn't all of her crap going number one? I mean she IS so FIERCE, aint she?

Honeychile Corner: Qaadir's "I Am..." Review + Response (Throwback)

Yes, Honeys! It's time for yet another installment of Honeychile Corner's. This is an oldie but goodie. The following video is a throwback review of the "I Am... Sasha Fierce" project during the week of it's release ...



...and here is the inevitable review RESPONSE 'cause u know what the Bey stans give if you have the audacity to give your honest opinion about the old lady...



Yea so I'm guessing Congress passed a law when Sasha Fierce was unleashed that said if you make a video against our beloved Beyonce, you must within 24 hours make a response video explaining your treason or you will face sanctions and court martial. And if you know Qaadir like I know Qaadir, then yall know he didn't have any problem adhering to that statute, honey! PUNISHING!

Spillin' Tea: Lady Gaga SUED!

Now I know I ain't crazy (shut up bitches), but seems to me the name Fusari has come up another time before not too damn long ago. Hmmm...

Yes ma'am, it's looking more and more like Gaga and Honey Bey may be two turds in a blanket afterall. Here's the tea;

NEW YORK — A songwriter and music producer who claims he helped launch pop star Lady Gaga says she squeezed him out of her lucrative career after he co-wrote some of her songs, came up with her stage name and helped get her record deal.

Rob Fusari filed a $30.5 million lawsuit against the Grammy Award-winning performer, saying his protege and former girlfriend ditched him as her career soared.

"All business is personal," said the lawsuit, filed Wednesday in a Manhattan state court.

Lady Gaga's spokesman, Dave Tomberlin, didn't immediately respond to an e-mail sent Thursday by The Associated Press.

Fusari had credits on such hits as Will Smith's "Wild, Wild West" and























(drumroll please)...






























Destiny's Child's "Bootylicious" when a friend steered the piano-playing singer – then known by her real name, Stefani Germanotta – to him in March 2006, according to his lawsuit.

Though he initially dismissed her, he realized she had star potential after hearing her play in his Parsippany, New Jersey, studio, the suit said. He spent the next several months working with her every day and "radically reshaping her approach," persuading her to drop rock riffs for dance beats, it said.

As they co-wrote songs such as "Paparazzi" and "Beautiful, Dirty, Rich," which would appear on her debut album, "The Fame," he transformed Germanotta into Lady Gaga, a name adapted from Queen's "Radio Ga Ga," the lawsuit said.

In a 2009 interview with the AP, Lady Gaga said her "realization of Gaga was five years ago, but Gaga's always been who I am."

"I was Gaga from the time that I was 19 through my first record deal," the 23-year-old said of her over-the-top, avant-garde style, which has captured the imaginations of millions of fans. "I always dressed like that before people knew me as Lady Gaga. I was always that way ... I stuck out like a sore thumb."
Story continues below

According to the lawsuit, Lady Gaga and Fusari's relationship turned romantic and then became a business partnership in May 2006, when they created a joint venture called Team Love Child LLC to promote her career. Fusari's share was 20 percent, it said.

Fusari – whose account of his role in the multiplatinum-selling artist's early career has been told in interviews – says he introduced Lady Gaga to a record executive who ultimately shepherded her to Universal Music Group's Interscope Records, which released "The Fame" in 2008. The album has sold more than 3 million copies in the United States; Fusari has a producing credit.

But the lawsuit says their personal and business relationship had soured by then and he has been denied a 20 percent share of song royalties, 15 percent of merchandising revenue and other money he's owed. He acknowledges getting checks for about $611,000 but says that isn't his full share.

Lady Gaga won two Grammys in January: best dance recording, for "Poker Face," and best electronic/dance album, for "The Fame."

SOURCE

Oh YES! Now I know why that name rings a bell. Fuck Kevin Bacon! It's the six degrees of DESTINY'S CHILD!

While Gaga and Bey Bey were somewhere getting their penises sawed off and folded into a trannygina in a dominican back-alley somewhere, this poor unfortunate FOOL was writing his finger down to the bloody nub while Thelma & Louise 2010 picked his pocket and ran out the door with his wallet, chile.

Them bitches are elegant, ain't they?

Honeychile Corner: Qaadir's "Telephone" Review Response (UPDATE)

Yes, honey a REVIEW RESPONSE! Now try it on me...



Poor Qaadir. The honeychildren are storming the category leaving piss-flavored comments on this chile's youtube. The Mansters and the Beytards are refusing to believe Qaadir didn't just witness the miracle birth of Jesus, so honeychile had to haul off and take to blogtv to get his point across. Its a long video, but miss thing is a hell of alot more entertaining than that 10 minute autopsy I witnessed the other day. And its NO SHAAADE!

UPDATE: At the end of the Qaadir video, the kids were asking him about African Boi. so , here's the tea.. a MESS LOL!

Honey Bey Is A Deep Thinker

Word around the Short Bus parking garage is that mini-mind Beyonce came out from under her wig made of old encyclopedias to explain the deepness and amayun'ness of her latest masterpieceofshit with GaGa. Inbetween teaching the square root of pi to an attentive classroom (aka the stray cats that linger outside of her fishy-smelling dressing room), she was elegant enough to take time out of her scholastic life to hack this mental loogie up;

“The video in a lot of ways is more about her even than it is about me. It was sort of a pop-art venture for me to bring her into my world in a way, the video is an attempt for her and I to erase pop music as we know it up until this very point. It’s meant to change the perspective of the world on what a pop music video should be and she’s kind of the vehicle for that. In reality, more people around the world are familiar with her aesthetics than they are with mine. It was something for me to kind of change the way that you see her for one video.”

BEHOLD!! With just one run-on thought-fart, she was able to cure cancer, end world hunger, bring world peace and give worldwide eyeballs the strength to leap out of their sockets and bust out of this bitch!

SOURCE

Honeychile Corner: Qaadir's Telephone Review

SHAAAADE!!

Spillin' Tea: Wha's on your Mind?

Hey, honeys! It's been a crazy week, spring is around the corner and there's alot of tea going on around the world, honey; from the Oscars, to the GaGa/Beyonce Telephone vid. So This is an open thread to spill whatever tea that's in your cup, chile.

Telephony (Update with Video)

Well, Honeychildren, tonight is the big night for the new Lady GaGa video Telephone ft. Beyonce to be released out into the wild, and the crazies are already climbing up telephone poles and sticking receivers up their vaginas in honor (yes, the boys that love Beyonce has vaginas, too)

Anyway, I know where I'll be when that shit comes on. I'll be watching my telephone closely waiting to damn dial 911 for when the shit goes down and bitches start flooding the streets in leotards and phones tangled in their weaves, so if you must, honey, use this post as a place to escape to get away from the likes of tired bitches like Exhibit A:


(p.s. I don't have much against GaGa, but I'm gonna have to give her ass a stiff stern side-eye after this hot gabbitch comes out)

UPDATE: SO I've just witnessed this smokin hot rancid ass excuse for a video. What a MESS! If u have the intention of watching it, SPOILER ALERT: This 10 minute long hernia was about Lesbianage, bad acting, Virgin Mobile ad, Thelma & Louise and Jermaine Jackson's "Dynamite" video. I was willing to give it a chance but this shit was a deep-fried FOOL! See for yourself below, but first make sure your insurance policy is up to date;



Chiiiiile!

Solange Has Taken A Leak

Chile, Solange has pulled out his wee-wee and taken a leak all over your computer, honey!



fuck this shit, I'm filing charges, honey! Mental and emotional distress.

Bitch Dodged A Bullet...

Chiiile, so I'm still loungin' around in my Dereon dress, the one Tina farted glitter all over. Yes, bitch is looking FIERCE! (who mad?)

"Honeychile, why are you all glamorous? What's the occasion?" you ask?

I'm glad you bitches asked because yesterday was supposed to be a big night. Don't nobody need no stankin Oscar when you have an elegant Razzie nomination. And even though He Terch'd Mah Chile had this award clearly in the bag, the voters much preferred to give Sandra Bullock the award for less obvious reasons, chile. Here's the tea...

Bullock implied that many Razzie voters had not actually seen the movie but cast ballots for her hoping to get her to show up at the awards. Bullock said if they watched the DVD – "I mean really watch it" – and decided it was not the worst performance of the year after all, then she would come back next year and "give back the Razzie. ... then we'll go drink afterwards."

DAMN YOU TO HELL RAZZIES! I bought this amayzun outfit to celebrate, and now I have no place to go in my fierce ass Dereon dress made out of bath towels, garbage bags, twistie ties, dog breath, paper clips, glitter farts, wig glue & dried gumbo dust.

Razzies, I'm sending you my Citi Trends receipt and I want my money back! I spent alot on it; 4 ripped food stamps, a box of Kix off W.I.C, 3 postage stamps, a used bus transfer and 2 chuck-e-cheese tokens and I want my money back RAT NAH OR IH SHOW YOU CRAYZUH!!

All My Single Lushes..

...now raise your glass up!



Word around the Alcoholics Anonymous meetings is the ever-so lady-like Beyonce was all up and thru the 40/40 Club abusing her liver again. After her burn victim looking husband finished drinking the blood of the youth in Madison Square Garden, they hit up the 40/40 (btw... where did he get the name 40/40 anyway? Maybe it's Bey-Z real age? Or is it they drink two 40 oz of malt liquor in between meals?)

P.S. Beyonce's liver needs to take an ad out on Craigslist and find a new roommate, STAT!

I'm Just Sayin'...

the resemblance is uncanny... I'm just sayin'