Beyonce Workin On New Album

The Dream farted in a recent interview with Singers Room about him working on a new Beyonce album.

I’m working on a reality show, I’m working with this girl name Kasha who’s here today. We’ll probably get her album done within the week. Ciara’s already started on her project. You know, Rihanna, Beyonce, the same beautiful people every year. It’s a cycle. We’ve gotta get that money.

Shhh.. if you listen closely, you can here the sound of 700 millions eyes rolling across the globe.

Here is Salma Hayek's reaction to the news;

'Video Phone' Won WHAT???

Chile, so in BET's last ditch effort to solidify themselves as being ass-backwards, out of touch and irrelavent, they gave the VIDEO OF THE YEAR to BEYONCE'S ABYSMAL VIDEO PHONE VIDEO!!! I guess sunday was opposite day, cuz even her most die-hard fans called that video hot fried garbage!



I mean these bitches don't even pretend to be impartial anymore if that green screen nightmare abomination of a disaster was nominated much less won. BET, your days are numbered!

Snatchback Video: Girls' Tyme on Star Search

So, I was going through youtube being a nosy whore, when I suddenly realized I've never really seen Beyonce and Girls' Tyme on Star Search... UNTIL NOW...




Will someone PLEASE knock me in the ear with a steak knife? I just want to unscrew my ears, put on stilettos, dance the single ladies routine on them and put them on the nearest railroad tracks after hearing this hot hell of a mess! I don't why I keep doing this to myself.

Aside from Beyonce obviously hogging 99% of the mic time, Girls' Tyme didn't lose, BEYONCE DID!! The best part of this mess was the rap section (LaTavia?) and the end when the torture finally stopped and the scores came up, and yes, I think 3 stars was far too generous... just sayin!

This Is Just Too Easy...

I almost don't need to risk scuffing up the paint on my fingernails to type this, but since I guess I'm a glutton for punishment, here goes...



Here is Beyonce looking young, fresh and gorgeous as ever after a night of kicking her liver's ass and taking it's name while attending the 1 year anniversary of Club Avenue.

Aside from looking like she just went 10 rounds in a heavyweight championship fight, and walked away without the championship, have you ever seen such ravaging beauty? Everything from the the tips of her split-end wig to the tips of her camel toes is just striking! I mean, why even bother putting on lipstick? She is just perfect in every conceivable way!

SOURCE

Yes, Jesus Loves Me....

THANK









YOU







LORD!

Snatchback: Beyonce does Tina for Bush

The other day a friend (who is now an ex-friend thanks to this foolishness) and I were watching Tina Turner concert footage. We were having a great time.. UNTIL...





One of the links was this clip of Beyonce performing Proud Mary with Tina Turner watching from the audience. In the first place, why is she doing Tina and Tina is in the audience? Tina should be on stage doing her own song and SLAYING IT while Beyonce should be in the balcony sitting next to her Texas boyfriend GEORGE W. BUSH! YESSS HONEY, THATTTT GEORGE W. BUSH!!!

As much death and destruction Bush has unleashed on the planet, Obama should be thoroughly kicked in the dick-bone for letting Beyonce come within 1,000 yards of his inauguration. It's clear to anyone with a functioning set of eyeballs that she has no principles and is an opportunistic skank.

*And a side-note. I live for Tina Turner looking like Tina Knowles younger, flyer sister. Maybe there is something to the rumors... hmmm...

Another Day, Another Camel Suit...

So the latest news flying across the desert is Jay-Z is being SUED by a private plane company for not paying in full. Here's the tea...

18 hours of flight time at $4,500-per-hour (discounted from $6,000-per-hour) ... $81,000
Catering for 17 domestic flights ($500-per-flight) .... $8,500
Catering for 4 international flights ($750-per-flight) ... $3,000
International fees ... $8,500
Taxes ... $12,285
Luxury trip to England ... $24,200

It all adds up to $137,485.00 ... which is why most people just fly coach.

SOURCE


Okay, so instantly a few things come to mind, here.

1. Can't he afford his own plane by now? If John Travolta can afford one, I'm sure Jay-Z can afford one, too.

2. Da fuck wrong with this bitch??

And don't give me this "it was an oversight" crap, either. Why didn't he just give them his Camel Express Card? and I don't want to hear about "my people dropped the ball" bullsh!t. Do you need your people to wipe your ass, too? You know what the hell you're spending and when you're spending it. People have bills to pay, they don't have time to wait until "your people" get their crap together!

Sorry for being in such a funky mood, but this queen just PISSES ME OFF!!

Beyonce RETIRING.....Single Ladies Dance?

I'm sorry If when you read the first 2 words of the title of this post, you did a cartwheel out of your chair, broke your neck and landed on top of your cat. (RIP Fluffy) but sadly, no. Beyonce herself is not retiring, I guess she's saying she's considering retiring that ridiculous dance, the dance she stole while shoplifting surfing all up and through youtube in the first place. *side-eye*

“Beyoncé loves the fact the video and the routine have been so huge and has really enjoyed performing ‘Single Ladies’ live but that’s it now, she’s moving on. She doesn’t want to be part of a long-term joke, [but] that’s not to say she doesn’t get a big kick out of watching other people do it.”

SOURCE

Chile, well I guess this is the first step to admitting it's become a JOKE! HA!

Kelly PWNS Mathew

Chile... So I was right in the middle of stabbing a Single Ladies Onsie with that voodoo pin Tina let me borrow, when I stumbled across this recent interview of Kelly Rowland by Perez Hilton.





Girl, so cut to Perez asking why Mathew felt the need (to stop doing bumps of powder with Lindsay Lohan long enough) to release a statement on a Destiny's Child reunion. This is where Miss Kelly SERVED Mathew the tea in her own little Kelly way, and I LIVE!

(wait.. so does this mean... there's still a....? oh crap!)

If You Like, Then You Shoulda Put Some Vodka In It...

Today is Sunday. So that means last night Beyonce was drunk off her ass again. Here is Honey Bey Tipsy-Tumbles Sasha Camel-Carter Fierce B.B. Hotmess Knowles grabbing whats left of what used to be the remnants of the ghost of her vagina at her wife Jay-Z's concert while getting pissy drunk next to Julius who looks like he would rather be having a V-8.

The Wolly Mammoth of Texas turned up the heat when she opened her mouth and contributed to the global warming crisis. Infact, Obama should put her on the Oil Spill Commission... All Beyonce has to do is dip her thirsty ass weave of miracles in the Gulf of Mexico, and voila! Crisis solved! She may catch a basket of shrimp in her wig to match the crabs in her husbands ass, and since she already has tartar sauce and butter caked on her teeth, and lemon wedges and garlic spraying out of her crotch, bitch got the hookup!

Click here for more drunk ass pics.

Telephone Child Abuse...

A sad excuse for parents that needs intense therapy made this tired Gaga "Telephone" video of their kid (who obviously would rather be somewhere playing jump-rope than to be involved in this hot garbage). The uninterested and over it kid looks like she being kidnapped and held for ransom to the tune of Gaga. Baby needs a real telephone so she can call The Department of Children & Family Services.

'Alejandro' Director Making Stuff Up...

In an attempt to quell some of the backlash from Lady Gaga's latest work of fart, Steven Klein, the 'Alejandro' video director, puts down his copy of Highway To Hell long enough to have a brief interview with MTV. This is what he farted:

“The religious symbolism is not meant to denote anything negative, but represents the character’s battle between the dark forces of this world and the spiritual salvation of the Soul,” Klein wrote. “Thus at the end of the film, she chooses to be a nun, and the reason her mouth and eyes disappear is because she is withdrawing her senses from the world of evil and going inward towards prayer and contemplation.”

Klein added that the scene in which Gaga ingests the rosary beads is meant to represent “the desire to take in the holy.”

Bitch lie like a rug! The evil nun from hell's eyes are burned away like a some shit from Nightmare on Elm Street so she can go inward and pray? Say what???

I don't claim to know what that creepy shit was about, but after I watched that video, my phone rang and told me I would die in 7 days. It's day 3... chile, I'm scared!

Speaking Of A Hot Mess...

Here is the glamorous Lady Gaga looking as elegantly understated and incognito as ever while attending...
















wait for it...


















her sisters CATHOLIC SCHOOL GRADUATION!! Not one to take any focus away from her sister and her milestone achievement, Gaga tippy-toed around and tweeted to her publicist friend about how much attention she's NOT getting in her Asian widow hooker ensemble. See, she's not an attention whore. At all.

Alejandrho...

What in the...

TrannyMadonnaLikeaPrayerVogueLaislaBonitaRhythmNationHell is THIS??

So, today was the BIG day for Lady Gaga's video for Alejandro. It was also a BIG day for my bottle of HOLY WATER! Between the Butch queens in heels humping like wild coyotes on viagra, to the demon nun from hell, to her thrusting her post-op vagina scars from here to the 5th circle of hell. Aside from that. Yes, she has a strong visual, but I was just confused, honey!

Now, excuse me while I go suck down a bottle of wine, eat a box of communion wafers, fan myself with a Martin Luther King church fan and say a few thousand Hail Mary's!