Cops Pull Over Some Old Lady...

So, Miss "I just got my license" Knowles (even though since early Destiny's Child, she'd been driving around in a Jaguar while her bandmate had to hitchike a ride in her mamas old Mazda, but I digress...) was stopped by a cop that had no idea who the hell she was *insert Nelson's HAA-HAAAA laugh here* when he seen a 1,000 pound wig on wheels in heels driving down the street while texting. Here's the tea...

“Beyoncé was really embarrassed because she only recently got her driver’s license. She tried to charm that cop and told him she had no idea that texting while driving was against the law. He had no idea who she was. He just slapped her with the ticket, which was worth more than $100!”

SOURCE



If this is true,






Chile, but if you go to the source link, this happened LAST month? Ummm, so... why... are... they... um... just... now.... um.. chile, nevermind! But,to be on the
safe side....

*stiff, stern side-eye*

Slow News Week: What The Buck Snatches Beyonce's Wig (Throwback)

So, I was sitting in front of my computer wearing my favorite 10-gallon wig, wearing the sluttiest leotard on the market and diving head-first into a giant box of Popeye's, when I stumbled across this video of the popular internet show What The Buck titled "Beyonce Threatens To Kill Jennifer Hudson for WINNING OSCAR!" So you know I couldn't pass this one up... Somebody pass the Popcorn and Raisinettes, chile!



And, of course... If anyone ever says anything bad about Beyonce, they have to do a follow up video apologizing to the United Nations of the World... unfortunately for the fart stains who love Bey, Buck ain't the one, honeychile!

Ok, Which One Of You Bitches Did It?

TruthBeTold, I'm watching you!


(p.s. for the brain damaged, this is just satire)

Dead Fish Walking

If you were in London and smelled something that reeked of week-old filet of cajun catfish rotting away in the July sun, it was just Beyonce airing out her cooch again. Either that, or it was Beyonce's elegant stripper I'm Gonna Git U Sucka fish shoes dying a miserable death. Well, if I was that poor fish creature, one whiff of Bey's toe-jam from hell, and I would go see about Jesus, too!


Here's unedited footage of Beyonce going shopping...

Tina Must Be Stopped!

Chile.. so I was surfin' MTO when I ran into this lovely pic of Beyonce taking a pic with people her own age. Instead of doing her hair that day, Tina just slapped Bey upside the head with a box of slinkys, and bag of old funyuns, dipped her head in a solution of just for men hair dye and sent her off to Glamour Shots in some mall in Texas looking fabulous! Either that or she was auditioning for a role in B.A.P.S. All bitch is missing is a few sparklers, smoke-bombs and skyrockets stuck in her head, and we can really get this ghetto 4TH OF JULY party started!

Beyonce Has a New Soft-Drink?...

Just sayin...