Beyonce's RTW(G) Video Review

Oh, fuck it. I don't even have the strength, chile. I'll just let this bitch speak on my behalf.

In case you missed it, here's Beyonce's video for Run the World (Girls), which is like the apocalypse as seen through the eyes of a House of Dereon seamstress who gets whipped in the eyes with a weave track every time she makes the slightest wince at Tina Knowles' jacked up designs. To me, the song still sounds like an elephant stomping on a kazoo in the middle of a fart contest and the video isn't helping. It's like every post-apocalyptic movie, blended with Cirque du Soleil's KÀ and wrapped in a thick blanket of Vogue magazine's worst photo shoots. The giant hyenas (which were later skinned for wigs)? Sand fucking a giant zen garden (at the 3:26 mark)? The fuck?

Well, at least when The Rapture comes on Saturday, I can look Beyonce in the eyes just as she's about to enslave me and honestly tell her that her Mighty Morphin Power Rangers gown (at the 2:49 mark) is hot. But that's about it.